Thu
Jan
5
my review of 'happythankyoumoreplease,' as relayed to laura through a relatively one-sided google talk session.
- M: so after you left this morning i watched a movie called happythankyoumoreplease
- M: written, directed by, and starring ted mosby
- M: can you guess how good it was?
- L: ooooh no
- L: WHY DOES THAT JERK GET TO MAKE A MOVIE
- M: it's because of zach braff
- M: now every douchey tv star gets to make one
- M: so, anyway, the plot is
- M: that he finds a young black child on the subway who's been in and out of foster homes
- M: so he takes him in
- M: i bet this is sounding great to you
- M: you're probably thinking you should have taken the day off and watched it with me at 730 in the morning
- L: hahaha
- L: oh god
- L: that's what you watched THAT early?
- L: how have youi possbly been able to recover your day?
- M: also, his best friend (malin ackerman) has alopecia
- M: and she dates bad dudes all the time
- M: until she finds a nice guy (the dude who played buster bluth)
- M: who's sweet but kinda ugly
- M: so she has to get over how ugly he is
- M: and she has a very meaningful scene in front of a mirror where she takes off her head scarf very slowly
- M: to reveal her bald head
- M: poignant
- M: and he has this cousin who gets pregnant by her doofy boyfriend
- M: and then they have to decide whether they're going to move to LA because he has a job there
- M: but she doesn't want to because "LA is different from new york and stuff"
- M: and they have a dialogue about it that was ripped wholesale from annie hall
- M: and then he just proposes to her even though they've been having problems
- M: and they have a very important conversation wherein they realize that they could live anywhere
- M: as long as they have each other and their unborn child to bind them
- M: also did i mention that ted dates a girl whose name is mississippi
- M: because she grew up in mississippi
- M: but now she's a bartender/lounge singer
- M: and she wouldn't sleep with him right away
- M: so he proposes that she not just stay with him for one night
- M: because one night stands are terrible
- M: but she should stay with him for THREE NIGHTS
- M: instead
- M: so he gets keys made for her and shit
- M: and the whole time this little orphan kid
- M: who's a budding artist, by the way
- M: is living on his couch, too
- M: but later, ted gets arrested
- M: because you can't just take a kid and keep him in your house
- M: did i mention he's an author?
- M: i must have mentioned that
- M: and he's really good at short stories, but can't really put together a novel
- M: WHICH IS A METAPHOR FOR HIS WHOLE ROMANTIC SITUATION
- M: you certainly must be on board with this by now
- M: i'll let everyone know that you said this should win all the oscars
- M: because that's totally what you're thinking
